There's nowt so (insert derogatory adjective of choice) as a footballer

Ashley Cole, a man who in my opinion encapsulates in one talented but arrogant selfish and greed obsessed body everything that is wrong about the modern game, is alledgedly being investigated by both his club and the rozzers over an incident where a sports sciences work placement trainee was accidentally shot by an air rifle at Chelsea's training ground. Why does this not surprise me?
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From BBC's football gossip column...

"(Avram) Grant also revealed that Hammers midfielder Scott Parker could not walk hours before the vital victory (over t'Shite -yeehah!) after falling on his shoulder....." Huh?
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Everton's fragile French striker, the delicate fleur that is Louis Saha, a man who could put himself out of action for a month just by sneezing, amazingly emerged unscathed after crashing his Ferrari 458 into a fence near Manchester airport. Methinks he'll wake up in about a week with delayed whiplash so severe that it will end his season.

The fence Saha hit was in the same vicinty where "The Gelled Tumbler" aka Cristiano Ronaldo totalled his Ferrari a few years back. Louis should have taken the Nissan Micra that night!
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We watched it disappear over the horizon, dragged ourselves back into it, then took command, fell to pieces, and defying all logic, salvaged a tie on the last ball. Who said 50 over cricket was dull?
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Not at all sprot related, but apparently some folk with more time and money than sense indulge themselves at the Fiona's Beauty Salon by sticking their gnarled and stinky feet into a fish tank, and several tiny Garra Rufa fish, a type of toothless carp, nibble away at the said loons' dead skin. I know, how can a toothless fish "nibble"? I'm only relaying what I've read!

"Mmmmm, Tinea Pedis, scrummy"

The treatment, rather unimaginatively, is called a Fish Pedicure, and it looks like falling foul (well it would, there's crusty feet involved) of H&S rules. Health professionals are worried that infections could be spread by folk putting their feet in water previously occupied by other's infested leg ends. Lovely image is it not? I read the story while eating my lunch, which was probably not a wise thing to do!
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