8 Apr 2011

A Cautionary Tale

Whenever I mow our lawn I am always perplexed by the strange Health & Safety warning signs staring up at me...


Perhaps it's trying to tell me something...



Warning, warning...


....Books! We'll have nun of your educashun round 'ere, mate, like....


...or you will be swallowed into a vortex and end up being one side of a 1970s Atari Pong game.....


....just to remind you, it's a simple game of man vs paddle....


Meanwhile, back on earth, always unplug the machine before you look at the book with the nice pictures, as you can't read, remember?


If indulging in a spot of tickling to coax out debris while the blade is moving does not do the trick, and although you've already lost your fingertips, resort to slicing your toes off with the blade....drastic, but it works.



If it all gets too much, run around in circles, and try not to overbalance due to lack of toes, but remember to eventually stop, or you'll be sick.



...and whatever you do, do not under any circumstances wear a hair grip.

All perfectly reasonable advice I'd say!

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