28 Jul 2012

Vacuuming Completely Nude In Stratford

Having sat through all seven years of last night's opening ceremony bash, there were two mildly cringeworthy moments - the first being the use of a German car as an example of British engineering, and Macca.

Just when you thought you'd got through a Brit spectacular without sight of either of those two Establishment pop musos of choice, Sirs Elton & Paul, up pops Macca and his ridiculous hair. I mean, come on, the guy is 70 and while I can just about believe he still has a full head of his own hair (my gramps was the same) the fact that there's not a grey one in sight is frankly undignified. And as for his voice, Christ on a bike, someone tell him to retire, please.

The best musical act was The Arctic Monkeys, a band I've never had a lot of time for, but I have to say they were actually rather good, and carried off their slot with no nerves at all, and gave us a fine cover of Come Together. I also enjoyed Danny Boyle's trawl through Brit pop music. Knowing he is an old punk at heart, it was rather fun seeing the longest snippets given not to The Beatles, but to the Sex Pistols' Pretty Vacant, and The Prodigy's Firestarter. Even better, Coldplay didn't get a look in - marvellous!

I wonder what Liz made of it? Perhaps it explained her stern fizzog that at times resembled a bulldog's slapped arse.

Today hindsight kicks in, and although celebrating the great British institution that is the NHS was a undoubtedly a good thing to do, it seemed a bit hypocritical what with our posh boy PM and his missus in the (very) expensive seats watching this while all the time his government are selling the NHS down the Swanee.

Right, I'm off to watch Russia win the Olympic Shaving competition...

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