Some of you know that I find the modern DW all a bit meh, and this current series has struggled to maintain my interest. To say I've had a Road to Damascus conversion after last night's episode may be over-egging the pudding a tad, but boy it wuz good wuz it not?
Doctor Who last night, watched after returning from the pub in a semi-drunken haze at about midnight, not only and amazingly kept my interest to the extent that I watched it all before passing out, not only that, but it made a kind of sense too! The whole thing centred on the delightful River Song who got the best line in the show saying she was off to a ‘gay gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled’ in 1938 Nazi Germany Berlin. Heheh. Rory locking Hitler in a cupboard was a "lol" moment too.
While Amy Pond undoubtedly does things to the heterosexual male libido, and I may be showing my age I know, but River Song could do things to me involving cream and probably leather....stop that now. What a woman! Apparently actress Alex Kingston once bit a fellow actor's tongue when she felt he was taking too long over a stage kiss - feisty stuff!
The question is can DW keep it up? We shall see.
...............................................................
Tonight sees the sublime Bill Nighy starring in spy thriller Page Eight. Should be good.
...............................................................
Now that Hurricane Irene has been down-graded to tropical storm, all of us over here in the UK are hopeful that all our friends on the eastern seaboard of the USA have got through the worst ok.
28 Aug 2011
15 Aug 2011
The Quality Of Mercy Is Not Strnen
First impressions are nearly always defining, nowhere more so than in business, be they from face to face meetings or from written communication. We received this magnificently mangled email at work today from the Yorkshire & Clydesdale Bank:
Hi There,
I am the new business development manager for the Yorkshire and Clydesdale bank covering Northamptonshire,
As your aware over the last couple of years small business's have felt the brunt of the recession effects and in this time most SME customer have felt that they literally have not had adequate support from there bankers, That's not the case with the Yorkshire and Clydesdale banks, We have increased the level of investment in this sector ranging money being available to lend to increased staff count to service our current and perspective clients.
I would like the opportunity if possible to be able to come out and explain our proposition further, This will cost nothing but your time and hopefully you will find it worthwhile as most of the accountants i have had the pleasure to present to have.
Please contact me to arrange a time/date.
Johnny Badgramerr
Business Development Manager
That second paragraph is priceless, and if anyone can tell me what the last sentence actually means I'd be amazed. The message is so bad I thought it was spam, but no, it actually came from the Yorkshire and Clydesdale bank (sic). Would I entrust my clients to someone who shouldn't be allowed to have a word processor on their computer? What do you think?!
............................................................................................
A heartening example of language being used for good occurred on Facebook at lunchtime today, with me and young black rapper engaging in a great conversation on the BBC Breakfast page about respect (all typos left untouched, it is only Facebook after all):
Me
Respect is a much misunderstood word, particularly amongst the kind who went looting, who when they talk about respect actually mean fear. Respect is often an instant thing on meeting someone for the first time. If they behave in a civilised and courteous manner towards you, and you to them, respect is given and taken. On the other hand if the newcomer comes across as aggressive, arrogant, foul mouthed, or obviously has a chip on their shoulder, or deliberately speaks in a manner they know you won't understand, then I for one will not respect that person. I may fear them, but I will not respect them.
MC Jay-Zed (not his actual pseudonym, obviously!)
What type of behavious would you call "civilised and courteous "
And are you suggesting that "aggressive, arrogant, foul mouthed, or obviously has a chip on their shoulder" type behavour is only to be found in the 'streets'...? Or would you agree you can also find these behaviours in offices up and down the country?
Finally, what makes you think people go around deliberately speaking in a manor they know you won't understand?
Me
"Civilised & courteous" behaviour - isn't that self-explanatory?
"Agressive" etc - No of course not. Anyone from any walk of life can be disrespectful.
Last bit - I've had it happen, that's how I know!
JZ
I'm asking for your definition of "Civilised & courteous", I didn't ask if it was self explanitory
Middle part - ok cool...
And does an incidence provide enough grounds for generalization?
Me
Ok "Civilised & courteous" to me means acting in a manner that will engender a pleasant experience for both on a first meeting. Or, to put it another way "do unto others as you would have do unto you". Some people (and I don't just mean the young) barge into initial meetings like they have a point to prove even if they have never met the person before. If I meet someone, and they are polite and listen to what I say, even if they disagree with it, and I do the same to them, and instant respect is formed.
OK I may be making a generalisation, but I can only base my thoughts on my experience. And how do you know it's not happened more than once?
JZ
cool, we're generally on the same page.
And at least you're a lot more reasonable than a lot of the other people on here posting comments
Me
Thanks for that. We are obviously from entirely different backgrounds, but have ended up respecting one another, which is what it's all about really. Have a good day :)
JZ
and yourself, good sir.
I now seem to be down wid da kidz - who'da thunk it! After all the shit that has gone down recently, that little "chat" made me realise that the world isn't completely full of fuckwits and arseholes after all. There is hope!
............................................................................................
And finally......the Monday daily award for Mental Deficiency In The Face Of Domesticity is claimed by......yours truly.
Our office is above a restaurant, which although it has a state of the art air conditioning system cannot but help leave lingering cooking smells in our workplace, particularly after a weekend.
So, about eighteen months ago I bought one of those plug in air freshener things, got it out of the packaging, inserted the three perfume bottles, plugged it in and left it. I was always a bit underwhelmed by its effect, for although you could faintly smell its perfumed fragrances, the cooking smells usually won.
I also wondered why, when it said on the packet that the refills should last an average of three months, it was still working after a year, and indeed today! I thought "this is rubbish, I'll get a different brand". So I took it apart to find that the top of one of the three bottles had split and it was nearly empty, while the other two were almost full. Closer investigation revealed that the tops unscrewed, and lo, for they did issue forth smells of pleasantness. I had inserted the bottles but omitted to take the tops off! What a plank!
...............................................................
Hi There,
I am the new business development manager for the Yorkshire and Clydesdale bank covering Northamptonshire,
As your aware over the last couple of years small business's have felt the brunt of the recession effects and in this time most SME customer have felt that they literally have not had adequate support from there bankers, That's not the case with the Yorkshire and Clydesdale banks, We have increased the level of investment in this sector ranging money being available to lend to increased staff count to service our current and perspective clients.
I would like the opportunity if possible to be able to come out and explain our proposition further, This will cost nothing but your time and hopefully you will find it worthwhile as most of the accountants i have had the pleasure to present to have.
Please contact me to arrange a time/date.
Johnny Badgramerr
Business Development Manager
That second paragraph is priceless, and if anyone can tell me what the last sentence actually means I'd be amazed. The message is so bad I thought it was spam, but no, it actually came from the Yorkshire and Clydesdale bank (sic). Would I entrust my clients to someone who shouldn't be allowed to have a word processor on their computer? What do you think?!
............................................................................................
A heartening example of language being used for good occurred on Facebook at lunchtime today, with me and young black rapper engaging in a great conversation on the BBC Breakfast page about respect (all typos left untouched, it is only Facebook after all):
Me
Respect is a much misunderstood word, particularly amongst the kind who went looting, who when they talk about respect actually mean fear. Respect is often an instant thing on meeting someone for the first time. If they behave in a civilised and courteous manner towards you, and you to them, respect is given and taken. On the other hand if the newcomer comes across as aggressive, arrogant, foul mouthed, or obviously has a chip on their shoulder, or deliberately speaks in a manner they know you won't understand, then I for one will not respect that person. I may fear them, but I will not respect them.
MC Jay-Zed (not his actual pseudonym, obviously!)
What type of behavious would you call "civilised and courteous "
And are you suggesting that "aggressive, arrogant, foul mouthed, or obviously has a chip on their shoulder" type behavour is only to be found in the 'streets'...? Or would you agree you can also find these behaviours in offices up and down the country?
Finally, what makes you think people go around deliberately speaking in a manor they know you won't understand?
Me
"Civilised & courteous" behaviour - isn't that self-explanatory?
"Agressive" etc - No of course not. Anyone from any walk of life can be disrespectful.
Last bit - I've had it happen, that's how I know!
JZ
I'm asking for your definition of "Civilised & courteous", I didn't ask if it was self explanitory
Middle part - ok cool...
And does an incidence provide enough grounds for generalization?
Me
Ok "Civilised & courteous" to me means acting in a manner that will engender a pleasant experience for both on a first meeting. Or, to put it another way "do unto others as you would have do unto you". Some people (and I don't just mean the young) barge into initial meetings like they have a point to prove even if they have never met the person before. If I meet someone, and they are polite and listen to what I say, even if they disagree with it, and I do the same to them, and instant respect is formed.
OK I may be making a generalisation, but I can only base my thoughts on my experience. And how do you know it's not happened more than once?
JZ
cool, we're generally on the same page.
And at least you're a lot more reasonable than a lot of the other people on here posting comments
Me
Thanks for that. We are obviously from entirely different backgrounds, but have ended up respecting one another, which is what it's all about really. Have a good day :)
JZ
and yourself, good sir.
I now seem to be down wid da kidz - who'da thunk it! After all the shit that has gone down recently, that little "chat" made me realise that the world isn't completely full of fuckwits and arseholes after all. There is hope!
............................................................................................
And finally......the Monday daily award for Mental Deficiency In The Face Of Domesticity is claimed by......yours truly.
Our office is above a restaurant, which although it has a state of the art air conditioning system cannot but help leave lingering cooking smells in our workplace, particularly after a weekend.
So, about eighteen months ago I bought one of those plug in air freshener things, got it out of the packaging, inserted the three perfume bottles, plugged it in and left it. I was always a bit underwhelmed by its effect, for although you could faintly smell its perfumed fragrances, the cooking smells usually won.
I also wondered why, when it said on the packet that the refills should last an average of three months, it was still working after a year, and indeed today! I thought "this is rubbish, I'll get a different brand". So I took it apart to find that the top of one of the three bottles had split and it was nearly empty, while the other two were almost full. Closer investigation revealed that the tops unscrewed, and lo, for they did issue forth smells of pleasantness. I had inserted the bottles but omitted to take the tops off! What a plank!
...............................................................
12 Aug 2011
"Rah Rah Rah, We'll Smash The Oiks"
Boy, what sickener that week was, compounded by the populist knee-jerk reactions of our glorious leaders.
First up was Mr Eton Rifles with his ill-considered comments that convicted looters should have their benefits stopped. Yeah, right, let's deprive the lovable scum of the little income they have and make them even more pre-disposed to thieving and sticking metaphorical middle fingers up at authority in the form of bricks, fire bombs and worse. Great idea Dave. What's more, quite a few of the looters (I refuse to use the word "rioters" as it lends them undeserved political kudos) had jobs, so what about them?
Tonight on the news Labour leader and panda lookey-likey Ed Milibrand showed himself to be completely out of his depth when confronted with the articulate and righteous anger of one of his own supporters outside Brixton tube station on a walkabout. The 40 something lady was imploring her party's leader to do something about the youth who have nothing and feel completely disenfranchised by our laissez-faire capitalist society, and his reply was something along the lines of "Thank you, and it's been good to meet you" accompanied by a false smile and a thousand yard stare, after which he moved on, surrounded by party minders. That actually doesn't come across half as awful in print as the totally cringeworthy scene it proved to be on TV. The man has all the gravitas of a smelly day old damp flannel. If any Americans read this, he's a douche bag!
As for Corporal Clegg, has he said anything at all? If he has I've missed it.
I repeat what I said last time - withdraw all our armed forces from everywhere abroad and use the billions saved to set up a Government sponsored Community National Service for all 16 to 21 year olds not in education or employment. Even better, what about setting up a National Apprenticeship Program, for we've all heard countless times about the skills shortage.
..............................................................
Despite having done this blog thing for a while now, my keyboard dyslexia shows no signs of improving. My most common error seems to be the words "with the" which usually come out as withe, as my fingers obviously cannot keep up with my amazing speed of thought. I decided to type this bit without correcting any erors and because as a result I'm probably concentrating harder there will be none...possibbly...let's see...oh, well, nearly.
..............................................................
First up was Mr Eton Rifles with his ill-considered comments that convicted looters should have their benefits stopped. Yeah, right, let's deprive the lovable scum of the little income they have and make them even more pre-disposed to thieving and sticking metaphorical middle fingers up at authority in the form of bricks, fire bombs and worse. Great idea Dave. What's more, quite a few of the looters (I refuse to use the word "rioters" as it lends them undeserved political kudos) had jobs, so what about them?
Tonight on the news Labour leader and panda lookey-likey Ed Milibrand showed himself to be completely out of his depth when confronted with the articulate and righteous anger of one of his own supporters outside Brixton tube station on a walkabout. The 40 something lady was imploring her party's leader to do something about the youth who have nothing and feel completely disenfranchised by our laissez-faire capitalist society, and his reply was something along the lines of "Thank you, and it's been good to meet you" accompanied by a false smile and a thousand yard stare, after which he moved on, surrounded by party minders. That actually doesn't come across half as awful in print as the totally cringeworthy scene it proved to be on TV. The man has all the gravitas of a smelly day old damp flannel. If any Americans read this, he's a douche bag!
As for Corporal Clegg, has he said anything at all? If he has I've missed it.
I repeat what I said last time - withdraw all our armed forces from everywhere abroad and use the billions saved to set up a Government sponsored Community National Service for all 16 to 21 year olds not in education or employment. Even better, what about setting up a National Apprenticeship Program, for we've all heard countless times about the skills shortage.
..............................................................
Despite having done this blog thing for a while now, my keyboard dyslexia shows no signs of improving. My most common error seems to be the words "with the" which usually come out as withe, as my fingers obviously cannot keep up with my amazing speed of thought. I decided to type this bit without correcting any erors and because as a result I'm probably concentrating harder there will be none...possibbly...let's see...oh, well, nearly.
..............................................................
9 Aug 2011
London's Burning
I should be working, not writing this, but after seeing the news this morning I am a mass of negative emotion ranging from frustration to fear to anger, as I am sure you are too. I need to get this off my chest before I can even begin to think straight enough to work, so here goes. Written through a red mist this may well be riddled with typos and inconsistencies, but hopefully you'll get my general drift.
The continuing rioting and looting in London, now spread to Liverpool, Nottingham, Birmingham, Leeds and Bristol, and on to God knows where else tonight, shows what a thin and flimsy veneer civilisation actually is. The ensuing chaos also shows up our rulers for the ineffective bunch of self-serving mealy mouthed stuffed shirts and blouses that they are.
Before Labour supporters jump on the Tories and their reckless cutting as being behind this, I consider that had the catalyst for all this happened before May 2010 the end result would have been exactly the same. The Metropolitan Police and the Tory politicians are all far too quick to blame all this on what they call "criminal gangs" out on a stealing spree, but we all know it goes much deeper than that. There must have been thousands involved in the eight or nine different looting locations in London last night; are you telling me that they were all part of "criminal gangs"? Yes, probably a hardcore element were organised crime, but the vast majority of these vile scum were teenage to mid-twenties chancers, out for a new pair of trainers or iPhone or HDTV, or whatever they could get their worthless hands on.
The reaction of Home Secretary Theresa May and London MP Dianne Abbott on this morning's BBC Breakfast was a bit of eye opener too. first we had Ms Abbot, who is mainly known for her left wing liberal (to put it mildly) viewpoint, saying that the riots cannot be allowed to continue, and any means should be deployed to stop them breaking out again. This of course implies a curfew and sending in the Army to enforce it, a view that I certainly agree with. May on the other hand sat there metaphorically wringing her hands and blathering on about consensual policing, and asking the parents of the scum to make sure that they know where there precious kiddywinks are. They already know, and what's more, you daft bitch, I'll bet some of them joined in too! Abbott/May in role reversal indeed.
Once this frankly terrifying outbreak of social unrest has died down, what you may well ask, can be done to stop it? Well for one, pull ALL our troops out of foreign climes now, and use the huge amount of money saved to set up a form of Community National Service for all 16 to 21 year olds not in work or education. The first six months of the no doubt paltry sentences that will be handed down to the few looters who get caught and convicted should be served repairing the damage they caused to their own communities on a 12 hour day basis, supervised by coppers with whips. OK maybe that last bit is going a bit far, I'm not after a job with the Daily Mail, honest! Ah, I see I seem to have found my battered sense of humour so now maybe it's time to stop.
............................................................................................
Oh, and while all this has been kicking off' our private pensions, already lying whimpering on the ground after several body blows in the last two trading days, are now being given a further kicking, and are heading for intensive care as we speak. Isn't life grand?
...........................................................................................
The continuing rioting and looting in London, now spread to Liverpool, Nottingham, Birmingham, Leeds and Bristol, and on to God knows where else tonight, shows what a thin and flimsy veneer civilisation actually is. The ensuing chaos also shows up our rulers for the ineffective bunch of self-serving mealy mouthed stuffed shirts and blouses that they are.
Before Labour supporters jump on the Tories and their reckless cutting as being behind this, I consider that had the catalyst for all this happened before May 2010 the end result would have been exactly the same. The Metropolitan Police and the Tory politicians are all far too quick to blame all this on what they call "criminal gangs" out on a stealing spree, but we all know it goes much deeper than that. There must have been thousands involved in the eight or nine different looting locations in London last night; are you telling me that they were all part of "criminal gangs"? Yes, probably a hardcore element were organised crime, but the vast majority of these vile scum were teenage to mid-twenties chancers, out for a new pair of trainers or iPhone or HDTV, or whatever they could get their worthless hands on.
The reaction of Home Secretary Theresa May and London MP Dianne Abbott on this morning's BBC Breakfast was a bit of eye opener too. first we had Ms Abbot, who is mainly known for her left wing liberal (to put it mildly) viewpoint, saying that the riots cannot be allowed to continue, and any means should be deployed to stop them breaking out again. This of course implies a curfew and sending in the Army to enforce it, a view that I certainly agree with. May on the other hand sat there metaphorically wringing her hands and blathering on about consensual policing, and asking the parents of the scum to make sure that they know where there precious kiddywinks are. They already know, and what's more, you daft bitch, I'll bet some of them joined in too! Abbott/May in role reversal indeed.
Once this frankly terrifying outbreak of social unrest has died down, what you may well ask, can be done to stop it? Well for one, pull ALL our troops out of foreign climes now, and use the huge amount of money saved to set up a form of Community National Service for all 16 to 21 year olds not in work or education. The first six months of the no doubt paltry sentences that will be handed down to the few looters who get caught and convicted should be served repairing the damage they caused to their own communities on a 12 hour day basis, supervised by coppers with whips. OK maybe that last bit is going a bit far, I'm not after a job with the Daily Mail, honest! Ah, I see I seem to have found my battered sense of humour so now maybe it's time to stop.
............................................................................................
Oh, and while all this has been kicking off' our private pensions, already lying whimpering on the ground after several body blows in the last two trading days, are now being given a further kicking, and are heading for intensive care as we speak. Isn't life grand?
...........................................................................................
7 Aug 2011
Forever And Ever
i have just spent what feels like the 17th consecutive weekend day re-painting the cast iron gates to Burwood Towers. Actually it's the 7th, which is long enough. Days 1 to 4 were spent stripping the bloody things of accumulated paint and exposed rust, days 5 & 6 applying two coats of rust repellent zinc undercoat, and today was coat one of two of black Hammerite. If anybody else suggests I should have sent them to be sand-blasted and dipped I will shout obscenities at the moon...when it's up.
Mind you, compared to my mate Geoff that was nothing. He's had to put up with four months of having his house turned upside down after blocked drains in his street caused some foul smelling flooding to six houses. As it was an insurance claim, and as is the way with these things, the job was characterised by delay and buck passing, with so many firms sub-contracting it sounds like Carry On Bob The Builder to me. No doubt the initial flood was caused by some cretins shoving all kinds of inappropriate waste down their loos, and no doubt these numpties are the ones who are complaining the loudest.
...............................................................
Are you enjoying the collapse of the economies of the Western World? You are? Then you need your noggin replaced, especially if you are one the unfortunate millions who do not enjoy the largesse of a Government pension. I've just seen eighteen months of small gains on my measly private pension, that brought it almost back to the level it was at the start of 2008, wiped out in the last two days of last week. And it ain't over yet.
Aside from that, when the world's biggest economy loses its AAA credit rating for the first time ever, we should all be seriously worried. The higher interest rates this entails will eventually be borne by those at the bottom of the economic pile, ie, you and me people. So anyone who takes delight in the downfall of the USA should be very careful what they wish for, or put their brain in gear before a gloatfest, or preferably move to China.
...............................................................
TV - it's all a bit shite isn't it?
...............................................................
Man City 2 - Man Utd 3...The most loathed club in the land get narrowly beaten by the most envied...I'll bet some misguided souls didn't know who to boo! It made me laugh though. Scarf Man really has got no idea has he? Oh, hang on, didn't I tip Citeh for the title (again).....ho-hum
...............................................................
Anybody want to know about the beginnings of Prog Rock in the UK? No? Well sod you then ;). If you did, it's here
...............................................................
You remember Bag Lady? Well the environmental health people have been in touch with her (no, it wasn't me) and as if by magic her 703 dogs have shut up. Doesn't stop Bag Lady from letting one of them crap on the pavement though. If I catch the blameless mutt at it, a charming mobile phone video will be made for future leverage.
...............................................................
Right, the paint has been scraped of my gnarled mitts and now I'm off to cook a no doubt wonderful sweet'n'sour.
Mind you, compared to my mate Geoff that was nothing. He's had to put up with four months of having his house turned upside down after blocked drains in his street caused some foul smelling flooding to six houses. As it was an insurance claim, and as is the way with these things, the job was characterised by delay and buck passing, with so many firms sub-contracting it sounds like Carry On Bob The Builder to me. No doubt the initial flood was caused by some cretins shoving all kinds of inappropriate waste down their loos, and no doubt these numpties are the ones who are complaining the loudest.
...............................................................
Are you enjoying the collapse of the economies of the Western World? You are? Then you need your noggin replaced, especially if you are one the unfortunate millions who do not enjoy the largesse of a Government pension. I've just seen eighteen months of small gains on my measly private pension, that brought it almost back to the level it was at the start of 2008, wiped out in the last two days of last week. And it ain't over yet.
Aside from that, when the world's biggest economy loses its AAA credit rating for the first time ever, we should all be seriously worried. The higher interest rates this entails will eventually be borne by those at the bottom of the economic pile, ie, you and me people. So anyone who takes delight in the downfall of the USA should be very careful what they wish for, or put their brain in gear before a gloatfest, or preferably move to China.
...............................................................
TV - it's all a bit shite isn't it?
...............................................................
Man City 2 - Man Utd 3...The most loathed club in the land get narrowly beaten by the most envied...I'll bet some misguided souls didn't know who to boo! It made me laugh though. Scarf Man really has got no idea has he? Oh, hang on, didn't I tip Citeh for the title (again).....ho-hum
...............................................................
Anybody want to know about the beginnings of Prog Rock in the UK? No? Well sod you then ;). If you did, it's here
...............................................................
You remember Bag Lady? Well the environmental health people have been in touch with her (no, it wasn't me) and as if by magic her 703 dogs have shut up. Doesn't stop Bag Lady from letting one of them crap on the pavement though. If I catch the blameless mutt at it, a charming mobile phone video will be made for future leverage.
...............................................................
Right, the paint has been scraped of my gnarled mitts and now I'm off to cook a no doubt wonderful sweet'n'sour.
 |
| Scrummy! |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)