19 Dec 2010

Crushed Under The Boot Of Colonial Oppression (Not)

Like attempting to swat a persistently annoying wasp, just when you thought you'd got the blighter, it comes back with all its mates to sting you repeatedly in the ass. Even worse, one of its mates you had previously not considered as it seemed unable to detect a lone jam sandwich on a picnic table.

OK, over-elaborate metaphors aside, England's sorry display in Perth brought all the bad memories of recent Ashes tours down under flooding back. Even Mitchell Johnson looked good against the woeful capitulation of our middle order in both innings. On this evidence the Aussies need only bowl good line and length at the MCG and the SCG and they win the series 3-1.

I'm a glass half full kind of bloke, so looking on the bright side, there is only one WACA, where we never win anyway, and the wickets at the next two Tests, particularly the upcoming Boxing Day bash at the MCG, will be much greener and far more like Adelaide. Also despite this drubbing, England's confidence will not be too badly dented, as unlike recent Antipodean adventures we did not lose the whole shebang at the WACA, and we know we are capable of beating the Baggy Greens on flatter wickets. The Aussies also have five of their frontline batsmen in woeful form, and long may it continue.

We are still the better team so let's not panic as there is an awful lot of cricket still to go in this fascinating series. Here's to finally swatting the irritating Aussie stingers at the MCG and thereby retaining The Ashes for another four years!

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