Rhetorical.1

Bloody weather. Why has March swapped places with May this year?
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Why do bands who peddle cliché-ridden self-aggrandising piffle of the lowest order have bigger audiences for their yawn-inducing drivel than bands who actually try to do something different?
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'kin Kenny is denying reports he's going to bottle it - again. Does this mean he will be gone by the time the owner comes back from Boston?
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Does Joey Barton have nice hair because his head is full of manure?
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Where are the other seven real ales? Did they ever exist?
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On the same subject as above, will I have a headache tomorrow morning?
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Will Rebekakakakah Brookes be found guilty?
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Would you rather be Greek than American?
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Bloody weather....did I say that already?
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Happy Birthday Brian Eno, 64 year-old genius that you are. You have delighted us with your esoteric and genuinely progressive music over the years, and long may it continue (see second rhetorical, above).