6 Mar 2012

Triumph of the dense, and a gusset too far

You'll have no doubt seen various TV reporters, or heard Martin Lewis or read one of the other money gurus reporting on the PPI mis-selling shitstorm over the last week. Some of the people who were led down the garden path by sundry unscrupulous banks have already got their PPI refund claims in, or have already settled, and now banks and other institutions are being told to write to everyone they think may have been mis-sold one these policies, telling them they can claim it all back.

All fair enough I'm sure, but consider this:

A credit card customer - we'll call him/her Sam - is offered PPI when they take out a new card, but as Sam is actually in possession of some grey matter they actually bother to read the small print and work out all by themselves and without anyone around to wipe the drool off their chin that not only is the policy extortionately expensive, but also that it will not pay out for up to six months after a claim, if at all, as Sam is considering becoming a self-employed cross dresser. Sensibly Sam declines the offer.

Micky, a self employed ferret wrangler, and another new customer, does not read any of the small print, signs the agreement and is thereafter charged 10% of the total transactions on their new credit card every month as an insurance premium for the following six years, paying out thousands, until Sophie's odd choice of hubby informs them in his inimitable long winded fashion that they have been taken for a ride, and can claim back not only the premiums but also interest and compensation from Bastardcard plc.

So, Micky is rewarded with interest and compo for being a fuckwitted dunce while Sam pays for it through higher bank charges. We are all doomed and we are all going to die.
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I really struggle with proof reading this gubbins before I post it for you fine people (you know who you both are) to read, transposition errors a speciality. The epitome of my inability to read my own writing was pointed out by Phill t'other day, when he spotted that my link to my music scribblings on this blog read "MY ALL THINGS MUSIC REALTED BLOG". It's only been there for nigh on two years and I never noticed. How dumb is that? Mind you, my other reader didn't spot it so they must be as dumb as me...or kind...:) Needless to say, it has now been corretced.

PS - spellchecking this reveals that the word "blog" is not in Blogger's dictionary!!
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Sartorial Bravery Above And Beyond Award


Mr(s) Quiz!
This photograph has been published without permission. Arf!
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Sartorial Fail Award of the week goes to....a bloke I espied taking his young lad to school a couple of days ago. The temperature was about 2°C and this geezer was wearing a sweatshirt and gaudy thin cotton beach shorts, no socks and scruffy trainers. I wish I had taken a pic of him, I could barely stop myself from laughing.
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Next Saturday sees the commencement of the fitting of the new bathroom at Burwood Towers, and for three days or so there will be a portaloo parked in the driveway. Where this becomes awkward is in the event of a need for a nocturnal pee, not a problem for me as I rarely if ever get up in the night, and in any case a handy bucket will be the preferred option of bladder emptying for me and the missus. What worries me is if some pisshead on his way home from the pub at the top of the road spots the mobile facilities!
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And finally...."In Michigan, a woman’s hair belongs to her husband".

No, really, for this is, or rather hopefully was an actual law in the US state of Michigan, along with "It is against state law to tie a crocodile to a fire hydrant". Michigan  is obviously a fun place to live where crocs run free and men wear their wives' hair clippings as trophies. Taking the biscuit though has to be that in various New England states it was, and I truly hope I'm right in using the past tense here, written in law that "...a person could be fined up to $200 for denying the existence of God". What, just the once or continually? Did they keep on fining you until you either a) suddenly saw the Light, by Jaysus, or b) were bankrupt so that they could throw you into debtors prison?
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