Bend Me shape ME (20

You may wonder at the strange nature of the heading - it's because I am typing this one handed, as part one of straightening out my wonky hands is over, and I intend to leave in all typos caused by being mono-manu for effect.

I was worried the night before my appointment that the operation may have to be cancelled because a bite given me by Molly, The World's Loudest Small Ginger Cat © which resulted in a sore red swelling to my left hand had obviously become infected. Luckily the consultant was not concerned as it was my right hand they were operating on. Penecillin was prescribed. The nurse also told me that the most infectious bite one can get from a common non-venomous animal was not from a cat as I thought, but from another human! I Would add here that Molly's bite was fully deserved as I tried for just a bit too long to remove a clump of matted fur from her during a grooming session. I  should know better after 14 years!

Apart from the seemingly interminable three and a half hour wait to be discharged, the whole thing went wonderfully well. The operation, under a local anaesthetic, was supervised by a consultant and his chief nurse and they distracted me from the cutting and splicing being done to my right hand by the surgeon and his assistant by talking about music and beer! The nurse, who I hAd met before and discovered back then that she had a liking for real ale, turned out to be a bit of a rock music fan too so we chatted about all things music, including Lemmy's incongruous appearance in beer ads, which the consultant found on his mobile for me.

MUSIC of my choice from her iPhone was played during the op, and it was quite surreal listening to Communication Breakdown while discussing the benefits of beer brewed in Oakham, all the while being lied flat on my back and vaguely feeling some tugging and manipulation of my right maw. As well as the local anaesthetic, a tourniquet is put round the arm to stem the flow of claret while the op is in progress. The op took half an hour, and when they removed the tourniquet there followed the most intense bout of paresthesia 9really getting into this medical malarkey now!) I've ever had - that's pins and needles to us laypeople. It felk like my hand would explode when touched, but it was also quite pleasurable after a strange fashion.

Club hand!

They gave me some strong painkillers to take, which as yet I've not touched. I figure I can put up with an intense ache without horse tranquilisers (co-codamol).

The cast stays on for about a week. I can already feel the improvement in the mobility of my right ring finger, even restricted as it is in the cast. I'm looking forward to seeing the results of the NHS handiwork.

Not too many typosa (sic) considering.....