Brouhaha: A late summer weekend out

Ironbridge Gorge in Shropshire is a World Heritage site, because it was here as far back as the late 17th century that the Industrial Revolution started, which ultimately led to the consumerist lifestyle we lead today. Whether or not that is a good thing is a debate for another time. Within a two or three mile stretch of the Severn valley about 8 miles from Shrewsbury are numerous museums and working exhibits showing just how the enduring ingenuity of us Brits kicked the whole shebang off in the 17th century. There are museums dedicated to to iron works, pottery, mining, all kinds of things.

The jewel in the crown is Blists Hill Victorian Town. Centred on an original humongous blast furnace, an entire working Victorian town has been created, it even has a pub. The woman next to me at the bar asked for a half of lager, and the suitably attired Victorian innkeeper looked at her blankly and said "Be that a bitter, mild or cider madam?" I laughed.

Probably the most famous sight in the area is the Ironbridge itself, with wonderful views up and down the Severn.

Another enjoyable trip was to the Tar Tunnel. A tunnel dug to transport coal through a hill came across a reserve of natural bitumen, which can still be seen today. Very messy! Hard hats are supplied.

When you get to Coalport, visit The Boat Inn for lunch. Hidden away on the far bank of the river this is a pub for the locals, that has a flood marker on the door you can see on the right of the picture, showing that the floods of 2000 came up to a level of 9 feet! The food is simple but wholesome, and was the best we had on our short stay, the ale is Jennings. Their Golden Ale is a good session beer - very nice. Also very dog friendly.

All in all a great weekend, the only drawback was our choice of base. Being one of those freaks who does not drive, we have to plan our trips around public transport. Interwebby research told me that a weekend tourist bus service ran at regular intervals from Telford through the gorge and back again, the first bus leaving Telford just after 9:30. We'll stay in Telford methinks, as the chosen accommodation, the Park Inn was a mere 10 minutes stroll from the train station and the town centre. Sounds like a plan!

Little did I know that Telford is a "town" that makes Milton Keynes look like the most soulful and culturally deep place on the planet. Looking like it was built in the late 70s and seemingly forgotten about ever since, Telford centre consists of a VAST homogenised shopping mall and virtually nothing else. There are no restaurants, unless you are inclined to spend your hard earned in the dreadful likes of McDonalds, and I've gone 50 years without doing this, so why should I start now? Frankly, I'd rather starve. More amazingly, there are no pubs, not even rubbish ones!

Ironbridge Gorge is a World Heritage site. That means it ranks alongside The Great Wall Of China and the Pyramids at Giza in terms of cultural importance. When in Telford you would have no idea this was the case. The Tourist Information centre has been shunted around so many times no-one seems to know where it is, or if it even exists. The shuttle bus service is a misnomer as on the Saturday the first bus simply did not turn up at all, and on the Sunday we waited for the second bus on the assumption that they simply couldn't be arsed with the first one, and that was 15 minutes late!

Telford is a dungheap of colossal proportions inhabited by lackadaisical people with glazed expressions. Avoid it at all costs!

A Rant (that earlier bit was just a starter) - Telford is full of thousands of glassy eyed shoppers wandering round in a daze. In Asda to pick up evening provisions we checked out next to what we thought at first glance was a grossly overweight dad and his 19ish year old daughter, also somewhat of the lardy persuasion. Mr Lard proceeds to empty the contents of his piled high trolley onto the checkout, and out came box upon box of every variety of frozen food imaginable, followed by sundry bags of frozen chips, chicken "shapes" etc etc. I had to look away for fear of laughing out loud. When I did venture another glance (it was horrible - similar I've no doubt to watching a car crash) Mr Lard had turned round. What I first thought must be a 40 something bloke was actually no older than 28! These are the kind of people who claim eating healthily is too expensive, when the reality is they're just too damned lazy. And they'll end up costing the NHS thousands too. Rant over.