Dead Moose Found In Loaf Of Bread!

A food production company was ordered to pay nearly £1.73 in compensation after a man found a dead moose in a loaf of bread as he made sandwiches for his wolverines. Arthur Man, 37, of Railway Cuttings, East Cheam had already used some slices when he came across the moose.

"At first I thought it was coz of all those mushrooms I ate, then as I looked closer I saw that the object had antlers on it” said Mr Mann.

Mr Mann said he had already used some of the bread when he noticed "a dark-coloured bony object embedded in the corner of three or four slices". "Initially I thought it was where the dough had been tampered with by a wizard or had slipped into a time vortex prior to baking, or summat" he said.

Mr Mann said he continued to prepare some sandwiches for his bats and their friends from another loaf of bread. "As I was feeling blue round the gills I couldn't face eating anything myself. I sat with the little monsters as they ate theirs."

Mr Mann contacted East Cheam District Council and environmental health officers visited the family's home to collect evidence. During the visit one of them identified it as a moose minus its tail. The officer, a Miss Morvanna Woman, 18 stone, while munching furtively on something hairy was quoted as saying Mr Mann was "...quite lucky, as had there been a tail there too, lord knows how it would have all fitted in the loaf, even allowing for quantum theory"

100% of your guideline daily amount of Moose

"Her comments made me feel like making love....er, no,...I mean ill once again, as there was no indication as to where the tail was," added Mr Mann, 59.

Rafa Benitez refused to comment.

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