I sometimes think that the ITV football commentary team either know nothing, or, more likely, are told by their bosses to put a positive spin on everything, in much the same way as Andy Gray et al on Sky keep telling us that the English Premier League is the best in the world.
Last night's friendly between England and Hungary heralded the much vaunted New Dawn after the old guard royally messed up our World Cup. The way Clive Tyldesley and more so Andy Townsend kept saying how wonderful we were, especially in the first half, grated after about, ooh, five minutes. Theo Walcott doing his usual "run faster than anyone else then give it back to the opposition" routine (one incisive cut-back excepted) came in for particular praise from the ex Villain. Why, one wonders? At least the lugubrious Adrian Chiles kept things more grounded in the studio. His mournful West Midlands drone was never more appropriate than for the introductions to last night's game!
To the game itself. While there was an improvement on the listless displays in South Africa - let's face it, if there weren't they would probably still be picking up plastic seats from the pitch today - it was by no means a display to put a smile on your face on the way to work the next day. Here's my player ratings:
Hart - very little to do. Made one decent stop near the end of the game - 6
Glen Johnson - little action defensively (thank God), got forward ok - 6
Jagielka - unfortunate with the own goal that wasn't, caught for pace once. On the plus side he looked like the only player in white who was likely to score for the first 20 minutes - 6
Terry - unspectacular,but did nothing wrong - 6
Dawson - unfortunately will be remembered for his slip leading to the goal that wasn't, which he actually recovered from to stop the ball going over the line off the equally unfortunate Jagielka. England suffer by FIFA's dinosaur attitude to new technology yet again - 6
Capello should stick with the Jagielka/Dawson combination as it can only improve by being played. Jagielka's consummate reading of the game normally makes up for his lack of pace, and Dawson can pass the ball at least as well as Ferdinand, and can get forward well. Stick with it Fabio!
Ashley Cole - Very good display without ever being stretched. The best defender we put out last night by a country mile - 8
Gibbs - Does he know he's supposed to be a full back? No idea what he's like defensively, but good up front. Looks like he needs to up his weight somewhat - 6
Barry - did just enough against an admittedly average to poor team - 5 - Needs to be replaced by Rodwell next time out, as the young Evertonian bossed the Under 21's win against Uzbekistan the previous night, and is improving all the time.
Lampard - unspectacular - 5. We improved vastly after he went off. Should retire.
Zamora - had a shot or two, but seriously, is this the best we can come up with? - 6
Walcott - His hat-trick against Croatia now looks like the fluke we all thought it was at the time. Needs to greatly improve his awareness of the players around him - 6
Young - much better than Walcott, can actually cross the ball, sometimes to his own team too! - 7
Gerrard - MotM obviously - 8. Would have been a 9 but for his constantly giving the ball away. Needs to improve his positional play. His goals glossed over an average team performance. Why oh why can't he produce those kind of grab it by the scruff of the neck stlye performances at tournaments? He's had more than a few World Cup & Euro finals appearances now, and Euro 2012 may well be his last chance to show the world what we all know he's capable of. Needs to chill out a bit, or he'll get a head injury from that perma-frown he wears!
Wilshere - impressive for the short time he was on the pitch - 7
Adam Johnson - if Gerrard had not been playing would have been my MotM - the most impressive of the new breed. That's some shot he's got on him too - 8
Rooney - hustled and bustled to little effect. Still looks out of sorts. Needs to dropped for a couple of games - 5
Milner - fairly anonymous, we know he can do better - 6
Capello - Mr Untouchable as was is on probation, and judging by his demeanour on the bench knows it too. Was he bold in picking more youngsters than many expected, or was it forced on him by circumstances? Has to be applauded for trying something new formation wise, but again that may well have been a reactive rather than proactive move on the Italian's part.
His comment recently that he doesn't know how to improve the mental attitude of the England players beggars belief. A major part of every coach's job at all levels of the game is forging the mental toughness of his squad ffs! Is this what the FA pay him £10 billion pounds a year for?
Also, poor judgement in apparently not telling Sir David of Beckham his competitive England career is over to his face, and for forgetting to shake the hand of the Hungarian coach at the end of the game - is the pressure beginning to tell? Finally, his English needs to improve so that the likelihood of misquotes and misunderstandings is greatly reduced.
The jury is still out - 5 out of 10.
The kit is awful. Uninspiring and plain dull all-white reflects the way we "played", at the World Cup. Why do we have to look like Leeds Utd? There is a red cross in the flag of St George, so put some red in the kit!
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