A Face That Says "Punch Me"

When discourse turns to televisual entertainments, my best mates delight in telling anyone who will listen that they have never watched ITV ever, unless by accident, as it is shite. I have to say that having sat through two thirds of Syco's latest offering "Red or Black" last night (I was knackered having returned home after four nights under canvas - that's my excuse anyway) that the Halls' somewhat extreme opinions on our oldest commercial channel are entirely justified, if a little on the understated side.

That Cowell fella has hit a new nadir with this, his latest so-called entertainment. Basically a quiz show with the quiz element removed so as not to over-tax the atrophied grey matter of the prole participants, Red or Black is a waste of an hour and half of anyone's life, even the fuckwits who bay and howl at it from the audience pit. Tarted up with all sorts of tacky razzmatazz and fronted by those icons of godawful barrel scraping TV, Ant & Dec, who managed to fill minute upon minute upon minute of nothing happening at all with their usual inane chimperings, and filmed in front of a an audience that gave the impression that they were all gonzoid on Angel Dust, a contestant could win a million quid if they could manage to make a correct 50/50 guess on red or black ten times on the trot. Never in my 51 years on this planet have I seen such a festering pile of fetid galloping brain death stinking shite masquerading as entertainment. Even Big Brother looks like Chekov next to this steaming heap of re-fried skunk vomit.

Apparently some guy who actually won the million quid last time turns out to have a criminal record for assault and burglary, similar methinks to the offences committed on the senses and wallets of the gullible by Cowell. Oh, the irony! There is a bit of a hoo-hah about whether or not ITV, who knew of the contestant's dodgy past, should have let him on the show. Well I reckon you get the participants and audience you deserve.

Simon Cowell, the man who is lowest common denominator TV made flesh, will doubtless be knighted at some point in the future for his services to exports and ludicrous trousers or somesuch, but if I were the lucky monarch with the sword I think I'd chop his self-satisfied grinning fizog to kingdom come. What a pointless little man he is.

Ah, that feels much better......
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While I'm in a Mr Angry frame of mind - those Murdochs are a tight fisted bunch of joyless fuckers, are they not? While I was away camping at the weekend I left B with the request to record the highlights of the England footy game against Bulgaria on Friday last. It turns out there were none on free to air TV, as clan Murdoch retained complete control over the TV rights, probably laughing manically as they rubbed their oleaginous hands together Uriah Heep stylee.

Put them all on a rocket ship with Cowell and the Gadhafis and fire it at the Sun I say......the celestial object, not Wapping I hasten to add, although come to think of it...
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After eulogising Doctor Who from a couple of weeks ago, Saturday's episode was back to "meh" territory for me, but I can see how the kiddies might have been scared by it. It is good to see that DW has not forgotten that it is after all essentially a children's TV program. That's why it's on at tea time on a Saturday evening you know.
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