First impressions are nearly always defining, nowhere more so than in business, be they from face to face meetings or from written communication. We received this magnificently mangled email at work today from the Yorkshire & Clydesdale Bank:
Hi There,
I am the new business development manager for the Yorkshire and Clydesdale bank covering Northamptonshire,
As your aware over the last couple of years small business's have felt the brunt of the recession effects and in this time most SME customer have felt that they literally have not had adequate support from there bankers, That's not the case with the Yorkshire and Clydesdale banks, We have increased the level of investment in this sector ranging money being available to lend to increased staff count to service our current and perspective clients.
I would like the opportunity if possible to be able to come out and explain our proposition further, This will cost nothing but your time and hopefully you will find it worthwhile as most of the accountants i have had the pleasure to present to have.
Please contact me to arrange a time/date.
Johnny Badgramerr
Business Development Manager
That second paragraph is priceless, and if anyone can tell me what the last sentence actually means I'd be amazed. The message is so bad I thought it was spam, but no, it actually came from the Yorkshire and Clydesdale bank (sic). Would I entrust my clients to someone who shouldn't be allowed to have a word processor on their computer? What do you think?!
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A heartening example of language being used for good occurred on Facebook at lunchtime today, with me and young black rapper engaging in a great conversation on the BBC Breakfast page about respect (all typos left untouched, it is only Facebook after all):
Me
Respect is a much misunderstood word, particularly amongst the kind who went looting, who when they talk about respect actually mean fear. Respect is often an instant thing on meeting someone for the first time. If they behave in a civilised and courteous manner towards you, and you to them, respect is given and taken. On the other hand if the newcomer comes across as aggressive, arrogant, foul mouthed, or obviously has a chip on their shoulder, or deliberately speaks in a manner they know you won't understand, then I for one will not respect that person. I may fear them, but I will not respect them.
MC Jay-Zed (not his actual pseudonym, obviously!)
What type of behavious would you call "civilised and courteous "
And are you suggesting that "aggressive, arrogant, foul mouthed, or obviously has a chip on their shoulder" type behavour is only to be found in the 'streets'...? Or would you agree you can also find these behaviours in offices up and down the country?
Finally, what makes you think people go around deliberately speaking in a manor they know you won't understand?
Me
"Civilised & courteous" behaviour - isn't that self-explanatory?
"Agressive" etc - No of course not. Anyone from any walk of life can be disrespectful.
Last bit - I've had it happen, that's how I know!
JZ
I'm asking for your definition of "Civilised & courteous", I didn't ask if it was self explanitory
Middle part - ok cool...
And does an incidence provide enough grounds for generalization?
Me
Ok "Civilised & courteous" to me means acting in a manner that will engender a pleasant experience for both on a first meeting. Or, to put it another way "do unto others as you would have do unto you". Some people (and I don't just mean the young) barge into initial meetings like they have a point to prove even if they have never met the person before. If I meet someone, and they are polite and listen to what I say, even if they disagree with it, and I do the same to them, and instant respect is formed.
OK I may be making a generalisation, but I can only base my thoughts on my experience. And how do you know it's not happened more than once?
JZ
cool, we're generally on the same page.
And at least you're a lot more reasonable than a lot of the other people on here posting comments
Me
Thanks for that. We are obviously from entirely different backgrounds, but have ended up respecting one another, which is what it's all about really. Have a good day :)
JZ
and yourself, good sir.
I now seem to be down wid da kidz - who'da thunk it! After all the shit that has gone down recently, that little "chat" made me realise that the world isn't completely full of fuckwits and arseholes after all. There is hope!
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And finally......the Monday daily award for Mental Deficiency In The Face Of Domesticity is claimed by......yours truly.
Our office is above a restaurant, which although it has a state of the art air conditioning system cannot but help leave lingering cooking smells in our workplace, particularly after a weekend.
So, about eighteen months ago I bought one of those plug in air freshener things, got it out of the packaging, inserted the three perfume bottles, plugged it in and left it. I was always a bit underwhelmed by its effect, for although you could faintly smell its perfumed fragrances, the cooking smells usually won.
I also wondered why, when it said on the packet that the refills should last an average of three months, it was still working after a year, and indeed today! I thought "this is rubbish, I'll get a different brand". So I took it apart to find that the top of one of the three bottles had split and it was nearly empty, while the other two were almost full. Closer investigation revealed that the tops unscrewed, and lo, for they did issue forth smells of pleasantness. I had inserted the bottles but omitted to take the tops off! What a plank!
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