A schooner is both the above. In Australia you can buy a glass of beer in a schooner, roughly two thirds of a pint. Our wonderful rulers have decided in their infinite wisdom that us befuddled consumers need more "choice" when buying a beer in a pub. We will still be able to buy pints and halves, but will soon be able to buy a schooner.
According to Science Minister David Willetts "We have listened to consumers and businesses. They have called for fixed quantities to be kept but with greater flexibility. That is what this change will deliver." Bollocks I say, and exactly what has science got to do with it? Why would anyone want to buy two thirds of a pint? Pubs need the extra cost of stocking schooner glasses like Alastair Cook needs batting tips from Ricky Ponting. What a dumb idea!
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Phill tells me that as a result of atrophying for three months, he wore himself to a frazzle emptying a filing cabinet during a brief visit to what I believe is called "work", the poor lamb. Mind you I was overcome with dizzying exhaustion the other day after the physically arduous act of filing a Tax Return online....
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Overheard street conversation...
Ugly 50 to 60 something unshaven chav bloke replete with hoody and tracky bottoms and can of Red Bull (see below) to "lady" friend, angrily.."...if I get meself alone in a room wiv 'er, I dunno, I might,...er well y'know I just dunno, but I won't be responsible." I guess not....
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On his blog, Phill has highlighted the "plight" of local(ish) drain on NHS resources Paul Mason http://networkedblogs.com/cLcCR which makes me consider the amount of pointless sustenance there is for sale in every town in our sceptered isle. Here are a few examples:
Red Bull - Why would anyone want to drink something that smells, from a considerable distance away downwind, exactly like freshly heaved child's vomit? The only purpose of this evil whiffing brew seems to be to enable chavs to stay up longer while drinking voddy, thereby guaranteeing more fights in our town centres in the middle of the night. What fuckwit at the Food Standards Agency gave this shite a licence?
Burger chains (all of 'em) - I can proudly testify that the one and only time I have visited a certain chain "restaurant" was to take a long stinky dump in one of their Madrid outlets (in the loo, not the restaurant!), the after effects of enjoying local anchovy tapas the day before. I wish I had known the Spanish for "I'd leave it a while mate, if I were you".
Anyway, I digress. These ultimate expressions of capitalist homogeneity are more than partly responsible for the rapid destruction of Amazonian rain forest to enable the locals to herd cattle to initially feed the insatiable American, and later UK and the rest of the world's appetite for MSG enhanced gloop encased in what is loosely termed a bun. Even the discerning French have got these dreadful things in their cities. A pox on them all.
I doubt tracts of forest the size of Wales are disappearing each year to accommodate battery chicken farms, but those nugget things are vile too. A bucket of dry tasteless pieces of white meat probably farmed in the most horrible way imaginable encased in white hot deep fried congealed dandruff is not my cup of larks' vomit.
If you've had the good sense to turn down the litre of Coca-Cola that's inevitably offered to wash this shite down why not visit a chain coffee shop (sorry Will), yet another expression of bland utilitarianism. I recently visited a Starbucks, or it might have been a Costa Coffee, or Imperialist Fascist Republic or whatever, and asked for "A cup of coffee". The disinterested Eastern European minimum wage slave behind the counter then reeled off a list of progressively bizarre sounding combos of coffee, milk, chocolate, cream, frog spawn and hatstand. "No, I want a cup of coffee" I said in a doubtless bored fashion. B said "Sit down, I'll sort it out". I believe I had an Americano (Will can correct me if I'm wrong), which is a cup of coffee!
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Stevenage, what a team!........
Have a good day. :)
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