Been to the doctor's to finally get a hospital date to get my wonky finger straightened out. Doc informs me the hospital will send me an appointment request, which arrived today. Apparently the only way I can have this appointment is by Telephone Assesment. How does that work exactly?
Me "Good morning. I've been told to ring you for a Telephone Assessment"
Doctor (at least I hope it's a doctor, not a porter or a security guard on a coffee break) "Yes, Mr T. What seems to be the problem?"
"I have seven different terminal illnesses. If I give you some symptoms see if you can guess what they are before I keel over."
Or, more realistically "I have a wonky finger"
"I know. Your doctor told me. Can you describe it more fully please?"
"It's my third finger, right hand. It's bent. There's a fingernail on the end. I can see remnants of a greenie in the fingernail"
I'll try not be sarcastic, but it's going to be difficult!
.......................................................
On two consecutive mornings walking to work last week I passed a tattooed muscle bound geezer standing on the pavement with his English Bulldog puppy on a lead, talking to his weedy looking mate.
The first snatch of conversation I caught went something like "....so he came at me wiv a bottle, so I rabbit punched him in the throat, the c**t"
The following day it was ".....I 'ad 'im in a headlock, 'an the f***er starts crying like a girl..." His mate thought this most amusing.
Welcome to sunny Northampton........
.......................................................
With the news that the very fragile Rio Ferdinand has broken his fingernail and had to be sent home and therefore is no longer our captain, and has been replaced at the back by the equally delicate Ledley King, a certain Mr Steven Gerrard is promoted to captain. Much as I have a loathing for the Scouse DJ puncher, I really hope he plays out of his skin for us (for once), and lifts the trophy. Now that the Fat Spanish Waiter is no longer his boss, this could be Gerrard's last chance to impress Jose Mourinho and get his move to a big club.
.......................................................
Your 'telephone assessment' will consist of you speaking to a receptionist, who wil, then tell you to ring back in 3 days and they'll give you an appointment to see a specialist.
ReplyDeleteThen why don't they just ring you up and cut out the expense of producing a letter? Is this Govt waste being targetted by the Chuckle Brothers?
ReplyDelete