8 Jun 2011

What's New, Pussycat?

Our Molly, The World's Loudest Small Ginger Cat ©, turns 15 years old in a couple of months, and B and I had thought that she had retired from the hunting game, as 2011 has so far been free of small rodents caught and killed, or worse, caught and let loose in the house.

Not on your nelly! On Sunday night at nearly midnight, Moll renewed her Professional Pussycat Licence, and brought home a still live mouse, which, after I had taken her and her captive outside I made her drop using the long practiced method pulling her head back so that her jaws opened. That done, Moll is then locked in the house while the mouse makes its escape.

Knackered after decimating local wildlife..


This afternoon she caught another, this time killing it as well. I disposed of the corpse when I got home. It just goes to show that the old girl still has what it takes in the world of feline butchery!

Moll's only ailment thus far in her old age is an ongoing hyperactive thyroid problem, held at bay by one and a half pills a day (15mg) of Vidalta that costs roughly £1 per tablet. Having checked online they can be obtained for less than half that price, not that our vet has let us know. I reckon along with dentists, running a domestic veterinary practice is a licence to print money.

Update - In order to get Molly's meds online a vet's perscription is required. The vets charge £12 + VAT for the privilege. Am I surprised? No, not really! Anyway, the cost per mg of the drug at the vets is 9.74p, and even including the perscription fee the cost online is 4.35p! No contest.

Being a pair of wusses we currently give Moll the tablets hidden in such things as cat treats, cooked chicken, tuna, corned beef, fish paste, cheese, but the wily old girl gets wise to all of these eventually, and so the cycle starts again. She is getting her medication but it is probably not the full dosage or regularly enough, although she seems healthy enough as her renewed hunting escapades have proven.

Eventually we're going to have to bite the bullet and use the dreaded pill-popper. The one and only time we've attempted (and failed) to use it, Moll took my arm off and ran up the garden with it. Remember, this is a cat that three vets could not hold still for long enough to take a blood sample from one of her front legs, so it's going to be an ongoing struggle but one we'll have to get used to.

7 Jun 2011

Up, Up, And Away

It's been a busy week at work so far and it's only Tuesday lunchtime. What with my business partner being away on his annual sojourn to Sri Lanka, I've been running the good ship Addit, Makeitup & Co on me lonesome. As you may know, at the moment my left hand would not look out of place on the end of Tuntenkhamun's left arm. The stitches came out yesterday, and a new swathe of bandage was duly applied by the comely Nurse Debbie. Anyway, a few clients have turned up with their annual accounting records, and their initial question on seeing my wrapped maw is always along the lines of "How did you do that?" A reasonable query, and so far I have resisted the urge to tell an Asian taxi driver, a permanently gloomy gardener, and a rather dim tradesman that my injury came about as the result of a Rugby wanking accident.

It's all your fault, and you know who you are..;)
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Staying on the wonderful Accountan-sea, a forum I'm a member of had an article from an American accountant called Blumer extolling the virtues of Cloud Accounting...no it's not the art of counting clouds. Full of largely unintelligible techno-bollocks like "With Cloud tools, we are able to help clients move into a world of managing “data flows” as opposed to doing accounting"...and..."The new breed of accountants will have to become experts in how computer systems talk to each other and how best to make them work together"...and..." innovative cloud providers are building products that are challenging our beliefs on how to process accounting data"...wake up at the back, there!

At the end of his tech-speak wibbling, he reckons..."The right systems are challenging the old out-dated way of doing things and proposing new ways to do it. Some won’t like it. But they can kiss my butt."

Fair enough Mr Blumer, who I bet is large of girth and sports a stetson on nights out at the rodeo with his equally fat wife, but it's difficult enough getting clients to write things down on paper, or maintain a simple spreadsheet a ten year old could do in their sleep, let alone teaching them how to wing stuff off into the ether. It's another world baby, and it ain't nowhere near Shoesville.

Mind you, the idea of an accountant using phrases like "kiss my butt" is quite amusing, I think I'll take it up!
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1 Jun 2011

It's Up Here Somewhere...

A news article on the BBC website under the heading Can pub quizzes survive in the smartphone era? has some sensible responses, most along the lines of "Yes, and the cheats ruin it for everyone else, so should be shot"...well maybe not quite that extreme. However, there are a few responders who reckon cheating is good and the quiz should adapt to their ways. One such incredulous response was this from "smoker_dave"..

The quiz needs to evolve. How about embracing smart phone technology and having rounds with very obscure questions that are designed to be Googled.

The world is changing. There is no need to memorise countless facts and figures any more. The people who get ahead are the ones who can search the reams of information and pick out the relevant results


If this bloke turned up at The Quiz With Gravitas with his mates, all brandishing their smartphones, I'd be inclined to tell them to fuck off, or stick the phones where the sun don't shine! My more measured actual response was..

What a ridiculous idea! A quiz is meant to exercise your grey matter, you know, that thing inbetween your ears. As your name implies I guess you do your cheating in the outside smoking area, come back to tell your team mates, thereby ruining it for everyone else. I hope you get caught!

I await his reply with interest!

smoker_dave looks for his phone after visiting The Quiz With Gravitas
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While walking to work this morning approaching me were two women both wearing big and very dark shades as is the current trend. One was nattering away to her mate, looking directly at her friend and not where she was going. She didn't see a dip in the pavement and nearly turned her ankle. Recovering she turned to her mate and in a surprised tone said "That's dangerous, I didn't see it" without a trace of irony.

For some reason they obviously were wondering why I was chuckling to myself as I walked past.
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Any fellow bloggers out there will be aware of the Stats tab, telling you how many hits one's wibblings have had, and from what sources. Some wag inexplicably came across this blog using the search words "pictures of the biggist (sic) sloppy poo". I've no idea how that leads here, unless it is a reference to my loose writing style, but I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to type it in Google!
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The mangled maw - an update..


Just over a week ago I had my latest Dupuytrens operation on my left ring finger. The cast came off two days after the op, but the stitches will remain until this Friday. Movement is good, if a bit sore and the finger is now straight! Result.

When I get the chance I'll put up some charming before and after photos for your revulsion.
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30 May 2011

Tony Blair - A Journey

A not unexpectedly weighty tome this, and in some parts, especially the overlong treatises on foreign policy, not the easiest of reads, but not as dry as one might have expected. Written in a conversational style, Blair comes across as a man with a sharp mind, but without intellectual baggage, pseudo or otherwise. In fact he maybe tries too hard to come across as the Ordinary Bloke he plainly is not.

It is nigh on impossible to write a review of a political autobiography objectively as the reviewer inevitably brings his or her own political bias to the table, however I'll try. Taking the book as a series of themes, this is my take...

New Labour
Blair was elected to Parliament when Labour was under the ideologically pure but hopeless leadership of Michael Foot, and Blair obviously has affection for Foot, but not for his party's then hidebound and completely out of touch policies. Blair sees the modernisation of the Labour Party as essential to making them electable and he's probably right, but he fails to see that his taking Labour to the centre and thereby pulling the Conservatives in the same direction has contributed in no small part to the general population's political apathy.

It is repeated many times in the latter parts of the book that in Blair's opinion if Brown was to deviate an inch from New Labour's tenet of introducing the free market into public services as a means of modernisation then they would lose to the Tories. I disagree completely with that idea. As one of thousands of disaffected Labour voters I voted Lib Dem in 2010 (God help me) purely because Gordon Brown was not and never would be Prime Minister material, not because he disagreed with Blair's version of modernisation.

Blair can be justifiably proud of dragging the Welfare State into the modern age which was the fulcrum of New Labour thinking, but I'm afraid for me New Labour remains a compromise, not a vision.

Gordon Brown
The relationship is described in minute detail and Blair goes to great lengths to describe Brown's treachery in daring to disagree with what some might see as Blair's Conservative tendencies where private capital is concerned, disguised as progressivism, but he does it in a manner that places the blame on GB's team, not on the man himself. He distills the ongoing and understandable resentment on Brown's part for Blair not handing over when initially promised by stating that he would only go if GB promised to continue New Labour's (read Blair's) reform program, something Brown was increasingly reluctant to do. Indeed why should he have given a promise to effectively put his own ideas on the back burner?

However, Blair goes out of his way to praise Brown's numerous contributions and talents on more than a few occasions, so it's obvious Blair still has affection for his old friend. It will be interesting to read Brown's take on the breakdown of the relationship, should he ever write it.

War & Peace
We've all got our opinions on the rights and wrongs of the Iraq war, and no amount of justification by Blair is going to change my view that the conflict was plainly wrong. Blair ultimately justifies the conflict by way of stating that if we hadn't removed Saddam when we did, he would have had to be removed at some later point anyway.

Firstly I thought that the reason for the war was Saddam's capacity to make and deploy WMDs? Secondly, why would "we" have had to remove him at a later point? I would have thought the first countries to be involved in any extraction would be Iraq's Arab neighbours, should the need arise.

Blair makes the point that Great Britain as a nation has a prominent role to play in world politics as a direct result of his ensuring our involvement in Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq etc. I think most folk in our tiny nation stuck here on the edge of Europe do not share our leaders' (of whatever political persuasion) obsession with clinging on to some vestige of long forgotten (by the population at least) Imperial power. The billions to be spent on renewing Trident, a symbol more than a useful military tool, and a decision Blair almost said no to but didn't have the balls, would be far better spent on incentivising the economy to ease the lot of the burgeoning jobless total.

It is plain that Blair does carry the weight of those who died in the various conflicts he had us involved in, and he is deeply sorry for the fact, but there remains no doubt in his mind he made the right decision where Iraq was concerned.  I don't suppose we should have expected anything different on that front.

The achievement that New Labour and Blair should rightly be applauded for and the achievement that should have been Blair's legacy was getting the Northern Ireland peace agreement finalised and working against seemingly impossible odds. Mo Mowlem is portrayed as being only peripheral to the triumph, as Blair clearly views it as his legacy. If he can pull off a similar feat in his new role as Middle East Envoy with the Israeli/Palestinian conflict then Iraq may be forgiven.

The media
Blair started out as the media darling, spun them into at first annoyance and later downright hostility, and ended by being hunted at every turn.

Complaining that the media tried to bury him and and New Labour in the sleaze storm over cash for honours and the comical sideline of gravity's effects on Prescott's trousers when in the presence of his diary secretary, Blair says being hounded out that way would have been "reputationally ghastly".

I consider complaining about the media having wound them round his pinky for so long is somewhat disingenuous.

Regrets
A few, but too few to mention. Oh, alright then...he regrets the Fox Hunting legislation, and the Freedom Of Information Act. The former shows he's out of touch with majority opinion and the latter shows contempt for that same majority.


In conclusion, this book will not alter what most folk see as defining Blair - The Iraq War, and entrenched opinions will not change. I've come out of reading this with more respect for the man, but I don't like him now any more than before, but that's probably how he would want it.

29 May 2011

Lick My Decals Off Baby

...or fawn at the altar of fanboy (and it is nearly always boys) tv.

What is it about children's tv programme Doctor Who that makes otherwise intelligent males of all adult ages lose any sense of critical faculty?

I can envisage that sentence alone getting them hot under the collar, but come on! Take last night's double episode concluder to The Almost People, which had an old fashioned DW plot - isolated humans take on beasties/mutants* and win against seemingly impossible odds, while planet explodes/melts* (*insert adjectives of choice). Fair enough, I've no problem with that, and I would have thoroughly enjoyed it as a 14 year old. The fact something as adolescent and simple as that has blokes in their 30s, 40s, and older enthralled mystifies me I must say. It can't all be down to the admittedly delicious Amy Pond can it??

Apart from the short burst of intrigue at the end advancing the season's rolling story I felt the entire episode was a bit...meh. I did just manage to stay awake though, but there have been episodes in this season where that has not proved possible for my aging bones.

As for the rolling story, I won't elaborate here, as some may not yet have seen last night's episode (you only need watch the last two minutes), but I bet its conclusion will make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

It seems only the Yanks can make sci-fi with grown up storylines that (a) require a bit of life experience to follow (b) actually make sense outside of a pseudo-science framework. Babylon 5 and Battlestar Galactica being two fine examples.
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So, you curmudgeonly old bastard, what do you reckon is good tv at the moment I hear you say?

The Shadow Line is great in a "take your eye off it for a second and you'll have to rewind" way. An understated copper with a double life (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and a moody and reluctant drug baron (Christopher Ecclestone) with a mad, threatening lieutenant (Rafe Spall - no really!) investigate the murder of Ecclestone's former boss hours after being released on a Royal Pardon from a long drug supply conviction, with sub plots revolving around the copper's double life, an investigative reporter and a shadowy and comprehensively nasty is-he-a-gangster-or-a-spook guy called Gatehouse who dresses like a character from 50s film noir.  Utterly captivating stuff.

Apart from that there is not a lot of interest on at the moment. I still watch Jools Holland's Later, even though he very rarely deviates from inviting whatever is currently "hot" combined with an endless list of R&B (old definition) belters and a few folkies of both the old school and world variety. I'm not going to stumble across the next (or even the first) Porcupine Tree watching this, but as it's the only even slightly non-mainstream music prog on trad tv, I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.

Can't wait for the new series of Forbrydelsen (that's The Killing - original Danish version) later this year. Ok, it's not quite as good as the Swedish Wallander, but it'll more than do. If you've yet to sample the delights of Sarah Lund's Fairisle sweaters you should give it a go. Apparently so popular are these patterened knitted jumpers that the company that makes them in the Faroe Islands had to take on extra staff to cope with demand.

Chunky!


It has to be said that BBC4 is the best and most innovative tv channel available on Freeview, and long may it continue!
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27 May 2011

What an ugly depressing Vista

I consider myself at least semi-literate when it comes to the sometimes hideously confusing world of computers and their operating systems, but over the two and a half years I've had to put up with Windows Vista, I have had numerous bloody annoying problems with what has to be the biggest pile of runny poo Microsoft have ever come up with.

When I got my current 'pooter in November 2008 with Vista as the then up to date OS. I was asked if I'd prefer XP and boy do I wish I had taken up the offer. Anyways, everything runs fairly smoothly until sometime in late 2009 when Vista SP2 was released. For some reason my machine refused to install the Automatic Upgrade version, and a subsequently manually downloaded version,  in spite of my trying to find what the problem was by deleting Windows Security Updates in reverse order from when the non-installation first occurred. After weeks of trying with no success I thought sod it, I'll just keep running SP1 until it becomes obsolete and make a decision then as to what to do.

That moment is upon us as MS will shortly be pulling the plug on security updates for SP1. It will still work, but there may be security issues in the future. I had decided to upgrade to Windows 7, even though it would mean a complete reinstalltion of all the dozens of programs I've got - a real time consuming pain in the ass. By pure coincidence I had recently installed ESET security on the recommendation of a computer wizard mate. Being a tight bastard I've been using various free anti-virus and firewall jobbies for quite some time, and ESET is the first security software I've actually paid real cash money for in years.

So, ESET is installed, I run a virus check and it finds some unwanted gubbins in Java that I duly deleted. On restart, the old "Windows has uninstalled updates" (Vista SP2) message reappears, so methinks I'll try it one more time on the offchance. Well, slap me in the face with a kipper if it doesn't actually install the bloody thing!!! Blimey, fuck me, etc etc - hats off to ESET. Of course as this upgrade is now several months overdue, there follows many Windows Security Updates to install, and 28 restarts later my 'pooter is seemingly up to date.

One of the updates asks me if I want to install Internet Explorer 9, why not I thought? I've been running IE8 with no problems, although I had dabbled in Google Chrome and Firefox, I'm used to IE, and although others may think it's shite, I've had no problems with it.

After restart, there's IE9 up and running. First off I'm not sure I like its new look, nicked wholesale off Chrome, but more worryingly all my computer sounds have stopped working. If you know me and my music obsession this is like a coke fiend running out of marching powder. Not good. Several hours of trawling through forums and applying fixes that have made no difference, I thought I'll uninstall IE9 and go back to IE8. With IE8 running suddenly gmail won't load, and I've still no sound. So, Firefox is loaded, gmail works fine, but still no sound. Perhaps it was one of the security updates that did for my my aurals? Hope not as it's going to be a reet bugger hunting down the culprit. I reckon it's another glitch with f*ckin' Windows f*ckin' Vista myself.....I'll keep you informed.

By the way if any of you lot reading this know a solution, do tell!!

24 May 2011

Winged Eel Fingerling cured of Dupuytren's Contracture

Yesterday saw my second operation for Dupuytren's Contracture, just over six months since the first. This time the culprit was the ring finger of my left hand. Unfortunately, due to the recurrent nature of the condition this will most likely not be my last treatment for it, but my consultant tells me of a new procedure involving injections rather than operations, already in use in the USA, is well on its way to NICE approval, so future treatments will hopefully be less stressful. Again I am grateful to that wonderful British institution the National Health Service. How the less well off cope in countries that rely on private health insurance is beyond me, and the NHS is one reason I'm glad I was born in the UK.

Apart from the now expected interminable hanging around, and despite my initial weird bout of nerves - I breezed through the first op when it was an unknown quantity, but foreknowledge had made me decidedly wobbly this time, for some reason - once in the operating theatre I was fine. Sedatives doing their trick, I'd imagine.

As was the case the first time, the op was carried out under a local anaesthetic, this time abetted by a total nerve block. Flat on my back with my "dead" left arm strapped down and hidden from my view by a sheet screen, the consultant and his surgeon began chopping away at the extraneous fibrous tissue build up at the base of my left ring finger. Unbeknownst to them I could make out most of what was going on in a reflection in the large overhead light diffuser, the sort you also find in dentist's practices. Probably due to the drugs I know, but I felt strangely detached from it all, so much so that watching my spliced hand was actually quite interesting! At one point a surgeon had in his hand what looked like an electric toothbrush, but with a tiny saw at the end. It made a satisfying buzzing sound as he turned it on and lowered it to my hand, grinning manically...."Mwahahaha".

OK I made that last bit up, but the electric toothbrush with saw attachment was indeed used. Fittingly enough, the last song played in the theatre from a random selection of old rock stuff on a nurse's iPod was Free's Alright Now. The operation had lasted over an hour, and I was wheeled back to the day ward where I was served copious amounts of tea and marmalade (my choice) on toast. Like I say, the NHS IS WONDERFUL, so hands off, Lord Snooty.

No doubt many visits to the lovely Jen in hand therapy await, so it's not all bad, this raspberry business.

The Maw of Me (in reverse)